Love & Sex

Information on all aspects of sexuality

Sexuality

Confused?

Are you confused about your sexuality? Don't worry, you have your whole life ahead of you to clear things up!

Just because you recognise that someone's attractive, doesn't necessarily mean that you fancy them!

Some people go through times where they feel attracted to the same or opposite sex, and it takes a while to sort out what's what!

Some people are clear about their sexuality from a very young age, whilst others take a long time.  If you are unsure, wonder if it's a phase etc, then why not try to talk it through with someone? Is there somone you really trust?

Perhaps you'd find it easier to talk with someone anonymously?

You can contact us at YES Tel: 0800 735 0121 (freephone) or speak to someone at Brook Tel: (01534) 507981

Alternatively you can contact:

Sexwise Tel: 0800 282930 (freephone)

ruthinking website

Brook

Being straight

If you are only attracted to members of the opposite sex then you are probably straight (heterosexual).

You might want to have a sexual realtionship, or you might not feel ready, or be in the right situation. That's fine...don't do it! And don't be talked into it!

If you are going to get physical with someone, remember that sex doesn't just mean sexual intercourse.

There are many different ways to please each other sexually, these might include kissing, touching or licking etc.

If you decide to have intercourse and it's over before you know it, or the earth doesn't move for you....don't worry!

Anxiety can mean things don't go as planned.

The more comfortable you are with your body and the more relaxed you are with your partner the better.

It's sometimes hard to get it right at first when you're dealing with bits so differerent from your own.

Remember to use contraception if you are going to have intercourse. And if you use condoms properly you will reduce the risks of sexual infection.

Being Gay or Lesbian

Are you only attracted to members of the same sex?

You're probably gay or lesbian.

It is important that you are comfortable with your own sexuality, and once you feel at ease with it, the more likely you are to be happy.

It is estimated that around 1 in 10 people are homosexual, so it is hard to believe that there is still prejudice around.

But as you know, there is, and it's generally based on ignorance and myths. That can make 'coming out' difficult for some.

Coming Out!

Comin out is the name given to the period when you know your sexuality is different to that of 'straight' people and decide to share it with others.

You may 'come out' to someone close and trusted, to your immediate group of friends, to someone in your family or maybe a caring adult such as a teacher, youth worker or counsellor.

coming out

Pro's & Con's of 'Coming Out'

Some of the positive things about coming out could be:-

  • You no longer feel the need to hide your true feelings
  • You can seek and build on new and existing relationships as the 'real you'
  • People close to you will better understand your needs, hopes and concerns and embrace your new identity
  • You can establish the best possible, knowledgable and open support from trusted people
  • You can openly express with dignity and pride the love you chose to give and receive

Some negative things you may wish to consider are:-

  • Your feelings may be in conflict with people who are close to you
  • Some family members may feel disappointment or be upset about your situation
  • The attitudes of some sectors of our communities might be set against yours
  • You may be the subject of prejudicial or ignorant thoughts, feelings and actions

Given the above, it is best to consider all the possible outcomes of coming out. Nobody should be convincing you either way...you will know the risks and reactions of those around you - and how you feel inside.

In all cases it would never be wrong to seek some advice, support or opinions from trusted people.

Being Bisexual 

Being bisexual means that you are attracted to both women and men.

This doesn't mean that you have to be having sex with anyone, unless you are ready!

It might mean that at different times you are in different types of relationships.

Being bisexual can mean that you are not restricted in your relationships just by what bits someone has.

Being Transsexual/Transgender

Transsexual or transgender is when people feel they have been born in the wrong gender body.

This can be emotionally painful and frustrating and people often describe a trapped feeling.

Some people try to bury their emotions and feelings and continue in their initital gender role for some years, some for life.

Other people start on the long process of changing their body to fit their mind and emotions.

This is often referred to as a sex change operation or gender reassignment.

Before any physical changes can happen, there is usually a lengthy assessment done to try and ensure that any changes are right for the person.

This might include living your life totally in the gender role that you will be changing to.

Gender reassignment is a difficult process to go through.

If you are in this situation, you are not the only one....talk to your GP, YES, Brook or a specialist service.

                  Mermaids                              Click on the Mermaids logo to go straight to   their website.

Or call them Monday to Saturday: 3 - 7pm on 0208 1234819

Alternatively you can email info@mermaidsuk.org.uk

 Gender Trust

 Click on the logo above to access the Gender Trust website or email them: info@gendertrust.org.uk  

Being a Transvestite

Some men like to wear women's clothing, some women like to wear men's; some would say that they not only get enjoyment but that it fulfils a need of theirs.

This is often referred to as being transvestite.

This may be a small or large part of someone's life, and they may cross-dress in public or in private.

If you are transvestite, you might like to talk to somebody for information and support.

The Beaumont Society You can contact their information line on         Tel: 01582 412220 (have a pen ready for local numbers)

The Beaumont Trust You can contact them Tuesday & Thursday 7 - 11pm  Tel: 07000 287878

 

For more information on Sexualtiy or to talk to someone you could try contacting one of the following:

YES ~ Tel: (01534) 766628 or 0800 735 0121   Email: yes@youthservice.yc.je

Brook Advisory ~ Tel: (01534) 507981 or go to www.brook.org.uk

Stonewall - Equality & Justice for LGBT people:  www.stonewall.org.uk  

FFLAG - Support for families and friends of LGBT people: www.FFLAG.org.uk  or Tel: 0845 652 0311

Samaritans (Jersey) ~ Tel: (01534) 725555 or 08457 909090  or email jo@samaritans.org