Family & Friends
People you live with
Families can be made up of a combination of people who may or
may not be directly related, and of course, some people are in
families where both of their parents live with them. You may be
living in a different situation, with other carers, or may be the
carer for someone else.
Families
Usually you can't choose your family, and when things are going
well, it can be great! Friends often come and go but many families
are there for each other through thick and thin.
As in all relationships, there will be times when things go
wrong, and depending on the level of the problem, you may want to
talk it through with someone else. You won't necessairly think
along the same lines as the others in your family, and they might
not understand you and your ways.
If you really need a natter, can you talk it through with them,
someone else in the family or with a mate? Is there a way to
compromise? Think carefully who the best person would be.
Alternatively you could contact us at YES to arrange a time
to pop in for a chat or you might prefer to use a helpline such
as:
Careline Tel: 020 8514 1177 (Mon - Fri, 10am - 4pm &
7pm - 10pm) They provide free, confidential counselling for anyone
on any issue.
If you are under 19 and would rather talk to another young
person about your situation, ring:
Youth to Youth Tel: 020 8896 3675 (Mon & Thurs
6.30pm - 9.30pm) or check out their website.
Friends
Mates can be the best thing ever; they can know you like no-one
else if you're close. Sometimes though, if you fall out, your mates
are the ones who know which buttons to press to really get you.
A relationship like this should be about give and take. Make
time for your friends, and beware of neglecting them bacause of the
latest love of your life!
If things go pear-shaped, try to talk it through, and avoid bad
mouthing them to others, as one day hopefully you be friends again.
Even if you're not - who needs enemies?
You may be the one that a friend chooses to confide in...thats
good; it shows they trust you.
If you find that you are troubled by what you've been told, if
you fear for their safety for example, perhaps you could encourage
them to speak to someone who can take action (e.g. their doctor,
teacher, parent. a youth worker).
If they decide not to, you might feel the need to get it off
your chest. You might want to talk it through anonymously with
someone on a telephone helpline such as:
Childline Tel: 0800 1111
and remember.....you can always talk to someone at the
YES project Tel: (freephone 0800 7350 121)
Step Families
Things may become more complicated if a new person or people
come into the family. There is usually a period of adjustment to
work through, who can do what, where do we fit in etc.
It may be great, more possibilites and all that, but there will
be differences and sometimes difficulties. The others in the family
are probably dealing with similar feelings. Communication can be a
key to many things, try to talk things through or call us at YES or
Childline!
Divided Families
There are loads of reasons why your family could be divided,
such as divorce or separation, work, prison or imigration rules. It
is very common but can be hard to manage both emotionally and
practically.
It can be difficult if you feel like you're stuck in the middle
or feel like your loyalties are divided.
Don't balme yourself, try to sort it out by talking through any
worries you have with someone else.
For support you can contact:
YES Project Tel: 0800 735
0121 (freephone)
Jersey Family Mediation Service tel:
(01534) 638898 or email info@jerseyfamilymediation.org.uk
Being a Carer
Do you look after someone else who is ill, or has a problem with
alcohol or other drugs, or someone who is elderly or perhaps has a
disablitity. Or does someone else's difficulty mean that you look
after other members of your family?
You may be helping with practical things like cooking and
cleaning, bathing and dressing etc, or perhaps you provide more
emotional help.
If this sounds like you, don't feel that you have to muddle
along on your own; you are entitled to some support. There are
people you can talk to about this and they may be able to put you
in touch with others who are in the same situation:
Jersey Association of Carers Tel & fax:
(01534) 766276 or email jaci@jerseymail.co.uk
Bullying
Bullying takes loads of different forms like other forms of
abuse. People who bully often try to make themselves feel better by
putting someone else down, but there is no excuse for bad treatment
of others.
It could be that you are being called names or ignored as if you
don't exist or even physically hurt in some way. People sometimes
put up with bullying, in the hope that it'll stop on its own, but
often someone else needs to be told to help that happen.
If you are at school, there should be an anti bullying policy,
some work places might even have one.
Though it can be difficult to talk about bullying, remember that
it isn't your fault, get support, if you can, from people around
you, friends, family or carers, teachers or supervisors, and
consider ringing a helpline such as Childline 0n 0800
1111
